


It's Been Rough

by rayraycash



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Family, M/M, Mpreg
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-29
Updated: 2013-01-29
Packaged: 2017-11-27 09:51:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,328
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/660577
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rayraycash/pseuds/rayraycash
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Some of the best things in life are the things we thought we never wanted to begin with.  For example, teen pregnancy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	It's Been Rough

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this a while ago and posted it on onedirectionfanfiction.com and it was received well so I thought I'd post it here too! Tell me what you think!!! I love you all!

The ending credits to Love Actually started to roll through and I reached over to grab the remote without disturbing the sleeping boy in my arms. He looked peaceful for the first time since we found out the news. I looked down at his flat stomach and smiled. There was a baby in there, my baby. God only knows how it happened, but it did, and I couldn’t be happier.

Harry, on the other hand, couldn’t be more upset. He was already having mood swings and nausea. Anytime the baby was brought up he also simultaneously brought up how it would stunt our rapidly growing careers and ruin our image. It was like he refused to be happy about this baby, our baby.

He started to wake once I’d stopped the movie. His beautiful eyes fluttered open and he looked at the black screen then to me.

“Did I miss the ending?” he asked, sleep evident in his voice.

“You missed the whole second half.” I smiled lovingly at him.

He began sitting up then and sat beside me. I decided this was as good a time as any to bring up a subject that was rather sore for him.

“Have you scheduled a doctor’s appointment yet?” I asked him and his peaceful mood instantly dropped.

“No.” he practically snarled.

“Harry, you have to go to the doctor…” I attempted to reason with him but he just cut me off.

“No Zayn. I’m not going to a doctor. It’ll just get leaked to the press and then we’ll be screwed.”

“The press will find out eventually Harry. You’ll start showing soon enough.”

“Don’t remind me.” He wrapped his arms around his stomach then as a way to shield his stomach from my gaze.

“You need make sure our baby is okay, and get vitamins and such. You can’t just pretend you aren’t pr…”

“Don’t you dare say it, Zayn.” He snapped before I could utter the word.

He refused to say it. He said using that word made it real. What he apparently didn’t realize is, word or no word, there was a baby inside of him that wasn’t going anywhere for a few months.

I took a deep breath and attempted to grab his hands, he pulled them away though. I settled for resting my hands on his leg.

“You have a baby inside of you, Hazza. Our baby. This is really happening. You can’t pretend it isn’t. You have to go to a doctor to make sure our baby and you are okay, because I don’t know what I’d do if I lost either of you.” I stated clearly and slowly.

He stared at me and his face twisted in anger. He stood from the couch and paced over to the front door of my flat and back.

“You’re comparing me to this thing inside of me? You don’t even know it! How could you even say it means as much to you as I do?! We’ve known each other for four years Zayn! And we’ve dated for two! This thing is only 4 weeks old and you’re already saying you love it as much as you love me! This thing could be a little monster! You don’t know!” he was yelling but tears were running down his cheeks as well.

I stood and walked over to him, pulling him into a tight embrace. He hugged me back, for once not fighting back.

“I love this baby because it’s a part of you Harry. It won’t be a little monster, it’ll be a beautiful little angel. I love you so much Babe, I love every part of you, especially this baby.” I explained to him and he only nodded, too stubborn to utter any words.

This would be a very long pregnancy.

~

Harry was right about the press finding out. Shortly after our first doctor’s visit a picture of both Harry and I walking out of the building made the cover of a large gossip magazine. Harry was reduced to tears when he saw it for the first time on the racks of our local supermarket. He’d brought it straight to my flat and slapped it down on the kitchen table in front of me.

“What are we going to do now Zayn?” He asked me, tears still leaking from his bright green eyes.

“It’s going to be okay. They know now. We don’t have to hide anything.” I tried to comfort him but it did nothing but upset him more.

“They’re talking about me. Read this rubbish they’ve printed for the whole country to see!” He thrust the thing into my hands.

He watched intently as I flipped to the correct page and began to skim the long article. He was right, they were talking about him. My name appeared twice in the three page spread, everything else was Harry. How a baby would affect his career, how shocked everyone was that this could happen to the young pop idol, and worst of all, how ‘it came as no surprise to some insiders close to Styles.’ I wanted to be sick.

The article talked about the rise in teenage pregnancy and how Harry was a role model to young children around the world. It discussed how this recent development would most likely go over with the parents of younger fans.

I only made it half way through page two before I had to put it down. I ached for my lover. He had so much to deal with without the paps destroying his squeaky clean image. I knew how much other people’s opinions mattered to him and how much it hurt him to know people disliked him.

“Everything will be okay.” I told him.

He just shook his head and stormed out of my flat without saying another word. I let my head fall into my hands once I’d heard the door slam shut.

~

I held Harry’s hand as he laid flat on the table. We were finally going to see our little angel. I don’t remember ever being more excited, but Harry still seemed indifferent and was doing nothing to hide it.

The ultrasound tech pulled the wand off the machine and asked Harry to lift his shirt. He did so and I looked down to see the slight pudge that was forming there. If you didn’t know, it would just look like he’d had a big breakfast, but I knew better.

Most of my time spent with him these days included my hands all over his stomach, wanting desperately to feel the baby kick. Harry was constantly complaining about it, but it always stopped when my hands rested there.

Harry tensed when the woman squirted the cool gel onto his stomach and started rubbing the wand over it. She watched the screen as she moved the wand around before finally stopping. I squeezed his hand as she leaned over to click a button on the machine.

A rapidly beating sound echoed through the room. A smiled burst across my face as I listened.

“Sounds healthy,” the woman said happily before turning the screen toward us.

“Here’s the head,” she pointed the monitor then moved around the wand, “There are the little hands, and there’s the feet.”

I stared with wonder at the blurry screen. I felt myself start to tear up as I watched our baby’s every move.

“Would you like a DVD of today’s visit?” she asked us.

I looked down at Harry for confirmation and saw that he was staring at the ceiling. Had he even been watching as we got the first glances at our child?

“Yes.” I answered for him.

She smiled at me this time, obviously noticing Harry’s lack of enthusiasm. She pulled the wand off and handed us some napkins that I took and began to clean Harry off. He pulled his shirt down and sat up, still acting annoyed at being brought here.

On our drive to meet up with the rest of the guys for lunch, I brought up Harry’s obvious lack of excitement.

“Are you feeling okay?” I thought that question was safe enough.

I was wrong.

“No, Zayn, I’m not feeling okay. I always feel nauseous, I’m gaining weight, I have a thing growing inside of me that won’t stop kicking me, and I don’t even want it!!! I don’t want this kid! I want to be a twenty-year-old pop star with a boyfriend that loves me and not my stomach!!! I don’t want to be a parent!!! I’m not okay.” He exploded and I had to pull the car over.

“Harry, I do love you.”

“Whatever. Every time we’re together all you do is talk about this baby, and hold my stomach, and kiss it and act like this baby is the greatest thing that’s ever happened to you. What about me? I’m still here!” tears were in his eyes again and I felt a pang of guilt.

“I’m sorry I’ve been all about the baby lately,” I sighed, realizing I’d been neglecting him.

“I just want my boyfriend back.” Harry sniffled, wiping away the few drops that managed to leak from his eyes.

“Okay.”

~

“I’m not useless, you know.” Harry stated clearly annoyed.

We’d gotten our own house, deciding it would be best to live together when the baby was born. Harry now had a large protruding stomach, and an appetite that could challenge Niall’s. I had recruited the rest of the guys to help us move and refused to let Harry lift a finger to help.

“I don’t want you to strain yourself, Love. Think about the baby.” I told him as I set down a rather large box.

“I am. She wants me to help too.” He told me sincerely and I couldn’t help but smile at him.

He’d managed to slowly warm up to the idea of a baby. The day we found out it was a little girl was really the day he got excited. He’d been chattering nonstop ever since about what she wanted.

“She does?” I asked walking over and grabbed his pregnant belly, “Do you really want Daddy to help, little one?”

I kept silent for a few moments as if listening for an answer before looking back up to Harry.

“I think your wrong Haz. She just wants you to sit here.”

“You too are beyond adorable.” Louis laughed, obviously having heard the whole conversation.

“Lou, tell Zayn to let me do something!” Harry whined but Louis only laughed.

“Sorry Curly, that’s my niece in there and I’m not letting you stress her out.”

“Aye! Is he still whining about not getting to move stuff?! Shut your trap Harry!” The Irish boy teased.

“You are all meanies!” Harry shouted at us holding his stomach, “We’re not talking to you anymore.”

He pulled his legs up onto the couch, looking away from all of us. This only made me laugh.

“Don’t bring her into this.” I walked over to stand in front of him and placed my hands on his quite large baby bump.

“She’s angry at you Papi.” I laughed at the name.

Harry had started calling me Papi, at first jokingly, but it quickly caught on and I had no doubt that our daughter would forever call me that. Louis had already sworn off calling us by our actual names, insisting that ‘his niece could already hear us talking and didn’t need to be confused.’

“What if Papi walks down and gets Daddy a milkshake from the ice cream shop? Will she still be mad then?” I asked.

“No, I think that would make her very happy.” He smiled at me.

I could only laugh again as I pecked his lips and walked out to go get him a milkshake.

~

Twenty-two gruesome hours of labor were finally over and on November 18, 2014 at 4:26 am, Jasmine Alisha Styles-Malik was born. Harry was more than exhausted but was holding on, barely, so that he could hold our little girl.

The nurse already had her cleaned off and wrapped in a plush pink blanket when she handed her over to Harry’s awaiting arms.

His hair was matted down with sweat from the past day’s events, his eyes still held tears in them, but now for a different reason. He was extra careful, holding her tiny body in his hands. I looked on at them both and felt myself start crying.

The past twenty-two hours were the longest of my life. I was torn between the excitement of our daughter being brought into the world, and the pain of watching Harry scream out and beg for it to stop. Either way, I wanted it to be over as quickly as possible.

“She looks like you Zayn.” Harry whispered, finally looking up from little Jasmine.

I walked over to him and looked down at our little girl. She had my dark skin and black hair. Her tiny eyes opened slowly, revealing that she’d also inherited my brown eyes. I couldn’t help but feel a little disappointed that she seemed to have gotten nothing from Harry, that is, until I saw her barely scrunch up her nose. That when I noticed that Jasmine’s nose was a miniature copy of Harry’s and I felt myself smile.

“She’s beautiful.” I commented and kissed his sweaty curls.

~

“Daddy, I want to go play.” Jasmine stated, almost sounding annoyed as Harry held her, trying to hold back tears.

We were dropping her off for her very first day of school. She had been blabbing about it nonstop since she turned five 10 months ago.

“You’re just such a big girl now. Daddy doesn’t know what to do.” Harry managed to choke out.

“Put her down, Love.” I whispered to him and patted his shoulder.

He nodded and placed her on the ground. I pulled her into a small hug then and kissed her cheek.

“Have fun Jazz. You’ll be good today, right?” I asked her and she nodded smiling what was unmistakably Harry’s grin.

“Papi loves you Baby. We’ll see you this afternoon.” I released her and she shot off into the room like a rocket.

I heard Harry whimper beside me as she immediately ran up to another little girl and began playing dolls with her. Jasmine had always come to him when she wanted a companion to play dolls with. I had to almost drag him from the school, as he had wanted to stay glued to the spot.

“She’s happy without us.” Harry let out a pitiful cry when we got into the car.

“She’s just growing up. She can’t be a little kid forever.” I told him, rubbing his arm.

“I know, but she could at least be sad about it!” he shouted desperately, tears now steadily streaming down his face.

“Hazza…”

“Let’s just go home.”

He cried the rest of the day. Every time he would stop, something would remind him of Jasmine again and he’d burst into tears. It wasn’t until I finally brought her home, did Harry’s tears finally stop for good.

“Daddy! Guess what! I met a new friend today! Her name is Lucy and we played dolls!” Jasmine told him the moment she’d burst through the door.

He ran right to him and jumped into his waiting arms.

“That’s great, Baby.” Harry told her, now smiling.

“Yeah! And we’re going to play together again tomorrow too! She’s really nice, but she’s not as good at playing dolls as you are.”

A bright smile spread across Harry’s face then. So she had been thinking of him today.

~

An ear piercing scream that ripped through the previously silent house made me jump from the couch and sprint to the origin of the sound. It was from upstairs. Harry and Jasmine had gone up to the bathroom attached to Jasmine’s room to give her damn dog a bath.

The scrawny, flea-ridden thing had stumbled down our street that morning and Jasmine had managed to lure it into our front yard then refused to let us take it to a shelter.

She begged Harry and I to let her keep it, promising to take care of it. I immediately said no, but Harry fell victim to her big, brown, nine year old, puppy dog eyes. He’d agreed to help her bathe it and carried it upstairs.

I was met when I was trying to run into Jasmine’s room by Harry, eyes full of worry, carrying our sobbing little girl in his shaking arms.

“What happened?” I asked quickly looking between Harry and the sobbing girl in his arms.

“The floor was wet and she fell. She landed right on her arm and it’s already bruising.” Harry’s words got frantic as he spoke but I shh’d him.

“Breath. Take her to the car and buckle her in. Go.” I gently pushed him so he’d do as I asked then walked into the bathroom.

That ugly little dog was sitting in the bath, covered in suds. I couldn’t deal with this right now.

“Come on dog.” I picked it up and raced out to the enclosed back yard before releasing it, “Go crazy.”

I jogged through the house and into the garage, making sure to lock all the doors quickly before hopping in the drivers’ seat.

“What took you so long?!” Harry asked frantically.

“Harry, calm down. Overreacting won’t solve anything right now.” I told him as I backed the car out.

Jasmine was still crying in the back seat and clutching her arm to her chest. I drove to the nearest hospital and went straight to the emergency room. Harry was out of the car before I even had it in park and was pulling Jasmine out.

I followed behind him as he raced into the ER with her. After checking in, they immediately took her back into one of the rooms. She’d now managed to calm herself down so she was only whimpering.

When Harry had to put her on the hospital bed, he walked right over and wrapped himself around me, watching as the doctor made our little girl giggle, though she had previously been in so much pain.

He turned to us after a few minutes and stood from his stool.

“It’s definitely broken.” He told us, “We’ll need to get x-rays to know how serious, but it doesn’t look too bad. She’ll need a cast, but it’ll heal up pretty easily. The young ones always heal fast. I’ll go order the x-ray and be back when they’re ready.”

I nodded to him but heard a small, quiet grumble from Harry. When the doctor walked out Harry mumbled something into my shoulder.

“Daddy.” Jasmine’s whimper had us both looking at her.

Harry immediately walked to her and knelt beside the bed so he was on her level.

“What, Baby?” he asked, smoothing down some of her curls.

“Do I get to keep the puppy?” she questioned with so much sincerity that I laughed.

Harry let out a small smile and a breath he’d been holding.

“Yes, Love, you get to keep the puppy.” He kissed her forehead.

Later that day, we all came home from the hospital and all Jasmine wanted to do was run straight to the backyard and play with that ratty dog. She was already tired from the events of the day so by bed time she was completely drained. She was asleep only moments after her head hit the pillow.

Harry, however, laid in our bed for a good thirty minutes before I asked him what was wrong. The words had barely left my mouth when a sob broke out from his chest. His face twisted in pain and tears poured from his eyes. I had to hold him, rocking back and forth, for a while before the sobs turned to whimpers and he could answer me.

“It’s my fault. I was making that stupid dog dance in the bath then she started jumping around. I knew the floor was wet, I should’ve told her to stop. I didn’t though. I should have, Zayn. I’m such a horrible Dad! I broke her arm today! Then I couldn’t even think straight afterwards. If you hadn’t told me what to do I’d probably still be in the bathroom holding her. I’m such a failure.” He cried, clutching tightly to me.

“Don’t you dare say that. Jasmine is okay,” I told him but he was shaking his head, “Harry, look at me. She’s a nine year old. Accidents happen. This was not your fault. She is okay. You love her and she loves you. You are a great Dad. Don’t ever think otherwise.”

His big green eyes were still full of tears but there was a hint of a smile on his lips. He nodded and curled into my side.

~

“I said no! Go to your room!” Harry yelled at our now fourteen year old Jasmine.

She had just attempted to leave the house in a skirt and tight fitting tank top. She managed to get Harry’s mother, Anne’s, genetics when it came to her newly developing curves and Harry couldn’t be any more upset about it.

“Papi said I could go!” she yelled back just as loudly.

“Well I’m saying no!” I saw his face turning red from anger as he yelled at our little girl who was quickly becoming a woman.

“God! Why do you always ruin everything?!” she screamed and stomped back up the stairs to her room.

I flinched when I heard her door slam and Harry released a huge breath.

“What is she thinking? Going out like that?!” Harry then turned to me, releasing his frustrations, “And why would you tell her it was okay?”

“It is okay. She looks cute.” I told him patting the seat next to me.

Harry sat next to me but rolled his eyes at my comment.

“She looks like a prostitute, Zayn, not a fourteen year old girl.” He told me indignantly.

“She does not. And she was just going over to Lucy’s house, it’s not like she was going to a crazy party.” I rolled my eyes at him this time.

“Yeah, Lucy, with the twenty-something year old brother that Jasmine can’t ever stop talking about. I’m not taking any chances.”

I chuckled at him and kissed his curls.

“You can’t keep her chained in her room forever, Haz. She’s got to spread her wings and learn to fly.” I told him jokingly flapping my arms.

“Shut up!” he giggled and buried his face in my chest.

I laughed at him and wrapped my arms around his small frame. I kissed the top of his head again and held him close. Even after all these years I still feel a rush at being able to entice a smile from him.

“In all seriousness though, Jasmine has got a good head on her shoulders. She’s responsible, good student, never broke any rules. I think she deserves a little freedom.” I whispered in his ear.

When he pulled away from me he was frowning.

“Why are you always right?” he asked sullenly.

“You’d be so lost without me.” I smiled, gently teasing him.

“Well, I’m not telling her she can go.” He said stubbornly, Jasmine seemed to have gotten that charming character trait from him.

“I’ll tell her.” I kissed his lips once more before standing and following the stairs up to Jasmine’s room.

I knocked before opening the door finding her angrily typing away on her laptop, no doubt creating an angry Facebook status. She looked up at me when I’d fully entered her room.

“Can you please talk to him?! He’s not letting me do anything!” she begged, obviously angry at Harry’s sudden overprotective streak.

“I already have. You can go to Lucy’s tonight,” her face lit up at this but I held my hand up, “but only if you go tell your dad that you love him and you’re sorry for arguing with him.”

“But Papi…” she whined.

“Jasmine, he loves you. He’s just having some issues with you growing up. You’re our baby girl, and he’s always been a bit dramatic.” I joked with her causing a smile, Harry’s smile, to spread over her face.

“Does he have to be so clingy though?” she whined again and we both laughed.

“He’ll never stop, I can promise you that. And I need you to promise me something,” I waited for her to nod before continuing, “You have to promise me that you’re not going to make me regret this.”

“I promise.” She said immediately.

“We’re giving you more freedom, but I don’t want you thinking that means you can do whatever you want and we’ll be okay with it. You still have to follow our rules and think before you just go off partying around the country.” I explained to her and she nodded.

I brushed back some of her crazy curls and kissed her forehead.

“Alright, let’s go talk to Dad.” I told her but before I could completely pull away Jasmine’s arms caught me and pulled me into a hug.

“I love you too Papi.” She whispered and I felt tears forming in my eyes.

~

The day had finally come to move Jasmine into her dorm room at Oxford. Yes, Oxford University. She was finally all grown up. My baby was a woman now. Harry was still refusing to believe it. He sat on the couch in the living room refusing to do anything to help. I was doing most of the heavy lifting, loading the luggage into Jasmine’s tiny car.

“Alright, that’s it.” I announced after loading up the last box.

Harry didn’t even look at me. Jasmine couldn’t take her eyes off him though.

Those two were so close. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t jealous. While Jasmine seemed to have inherited my dark hair, eyes, and skin, she managed to get every bit of Harry’s personality. They were on the same wave length, and while it made me sometimes feel like an outcast, I loved watching their interactions.

Jasmine sat right next to Harry and looked forward, just like he was. He didn’t look at her but I could tell he was fighting tears. She sat there for a few moments before turning to him and hugging him tightly. Harry hugged her back just as tight and I saw a tear slip from his eye.

“I’m not leaving for good,” she assured him, “And with me off at school you can start touring again.”

Harry laughed at her suggestion. We still recorded albums with the rest of the lads as One Direction, and played a few shows around the UK, but touring was always out of the question. Harry never wanted to leave Jasmine in the capable hands of either of our parents while we went gallivanting around the globe. Truth be told I wasn’t exactly comfortable with the idea either, but Harry always voiced his opinion first.

“We’ll see.” He responded with a chuckle.

“I love you Daddy.” She whispered to him.

He closed his eyes and I saw more tears slip through.

“I love you too, Jasmine.”

She pulled away from him then and smiled at him. I could now see tears in her eyes as well. This was rough for both of them. They’re so close, it’s like they’re both losing their best friend. Jasmine would be an hour and a half away from us. She’d never even stayed that far from us for the night.

I knew just by the look on Harry’s face that we wouldn’t be touring for a while. If he couldn’t be minutes away from her, he’d rather be an hour and a half than half way across the world.

“I call the moment I’m in my room. I promise.” She said to him.

He nodded sadly and kissed her cheek.

“Have fun, Love. Study too, but mostly enjoy yourself.” He whispered to her and she nodded.

When she stood from the couch she walked over to me and right into a hug.

“I love you, Papi.” I smiled at the name.

I’d been right all those years ago when Harry had started calling me that. ‘Papi’ had stuck. Even as an eighteen year old, Jasmine still called me that.

“I love you too, Jazzy.” I kissed her curls.

She’d managed to tame them over the years, but they were still unmistakably Harry’s. Her slim physique was also his. She was so much like him. So much so, that I found myself loving her much more than I ever thought possible. She was a part of Harry, but she was also a part of me. A part I’ll never get back, but I wouldn’t want it back, even if I could.

That night was the worst night of my life. Jasmine had called us in the afternoon, saying she arrived and unpacked safely. She’d already made new friends and was going to dinner with them when she hung up.

From the moment Harry’s finger tapped the ‘End’ button, he was reduced to a state I’d never seen anyone in. He was non consolable. He just cried. All night long he cried. He wouldn’t accept my attempts at holding him, he wouldn’t calm himself enough to answer my questions, and he certainly wouldn’t listen to my reason. He just cried and cried and cried until he fell asleep.

~

Now here we were, ironically enough, it was exactly twenty-six years after we’d found out the Harry was pregnant, and we were standing in a room in the back of a church. Jasmine was all dolled up to perfection, a beautiful vision in white. Our baby was getting married.

“Are you nervous?” Harry asked her and she only smiled at him.

“Yes.” She spoke back.

Harry grabbed her hands in his and took a deep breath. She immediately started following his breathing and smiled with him when he stopped.

“You look beautiful.” He told her and squeezed her hands.

She blushed then and looked down, “You have to say that,” she mumbled.

Harry mock gasped at this.

“I do not! You are beautiful. In anything, really, but especially today.” He told her truthfully.

I’d been watching the two for a while now. They’d been spending so much time together planning this wedding that I was scared they were becoming one person. All the time they’d lost while Jasmine was at Oxford had been more than made up for in the past year while they spent almost every waking moment designing every detail of this day.

“Whatever, Daddy.” She laughed at him.

I couldn’t help but smile at their interactions. The two people I loved most were standing in front of me on one of the biggest days of all of our lives.

A knock on the door had us all turning to it. Lucy, Jasmine’s maid of honor, and best friend of twenty-one years pecked her head in.

“It’s time to start.” She smiled excitedly and bounced slightly.

Just as quickly as she appeared, she was gone, leaving the door ajar.

“So I guess this is it.” Harry spoke gently to Jasmine, still clutching her hand.

“This is it.” Jasmine said taking a deep breath.

I picked up her bouquet and handed it to her with a smile. She smile back nervously and started toward the door.

We lined up at the end of the aisle and waited for the wedding march to play before slowly walking down to Jasmine’s future, and our own.

We handed her away to Kyle, a man who treated her almost as well as Harry and I did. Almost. As we stood by, watching our little girl marry the love of her life I glanced at Harry. He was crying big fat tears of joy.

It’d been a rough twenty-six years, but I wouldn’t change any of it for the world.


End file.
